As has become tradition, I joined Mama Bear at New England Outdoor Center on the Friday before all of the families and hikers would arrive. It's a mellow night where we share good food and a few drinks before all the business of the weekend begins. I look forward to it every year - maybe it's her famous cooking or maybe it's that infectious laugh of hers that lights up the room and makes you just want to keep on cracking jokes to keep her smiling - most likely it's a bit of both.
Several other key volunteers joined us over the course of the evening, and soon the conversations turned to hiking teams and their stone assignments. Mama Bear said there were a few last minute cancellations among the hikers which meant several stones would not make it up the mountain. Of course, I followed up with asking, "Who isn't going?" One of those stones was Andrew's. My hand immediately went in the air to volunteer to hike his stone (actually I probably said something to the effect of "to hell he isn't!") Andy, who coordinates the hiking teams, happened to be sitting at the kitchen table - and so I came to be a part of Team Red.
The next night at the hiker brief, I sat at the back of the table with Team Red. I had not met any of them in person before, and only one name was familiar to me. So many new faces, and everyone I met would assume I was new to TSP. Little did they know that my rookie season was in the fall of 2014 when I was again a last minute addition to a hiking team, and I had sat in this very spot 3 years before as TL for Team Red listening to a BSP Ranger I had just met give the hiker brief while Mama Bear and I commented on how nice he looked in uniform. My a lot changes in such a short time, and it seems in recent years Andrew and his family have had a hand in much of it. And for the record, the ranger still looks nice in uniform....
Sunday morning came, and it was a very early start time from NEOC. I think I had maybe 3 hours sleep the night before, but that is typical for Team Red, I guess. As we made our way to Katahdin Stream Campground, my thoughts kept returning to all of the memories and connections I had built because of Andrew. That continued to be on my mind for the duration of the hike as I had the opportunity to learn more about each of my teammates, the stories they were carrying, and how they came to be a part of Team Red. So many connections, so many ripples that will be felt for years to come. I have shared Andrew's story with people from Maine to California - today, I feel the need to write about the impact he has had on my life. I apologize for this long and rambling post, and I appreciate your patience in reading it.
In the fall of 2014, I was single "living" in Massachusetts. I had just lost my closest family, a chocolate lab named Jack, and had started a career that would have me traveling 2-3 weeks a month all over the country. To be honest, I was not in a good space. I felt homeless, and I felt very lonely - sometimes I'd go out to eat just to sit at the bar and be around people. I don't say that for pity, I say that to paint a snapshot of what life was like so you realize how quickly it can change.
I honestly don't remember the exact moment I sent a message to TSP to ask to be a part of the Acadia hike. I do remember that it was out of a need to find a way to honor SPC Dustin Harris's memory. Dustin was my classmate, and I think we've all sought out different ways to remember him over the years. Given my love of hiking, I thought maybe this would be mine. Teams were full at the time, and I was told that "maybe" they would have a cancellation that would make room to join a team. Last minute, as always, I was added to Team Blackwood to hike the "Courage" spirit stone and excited to see that both Dylan and Lorna Harris would be in my hiking team. Here is a photo of Team Blackwood just before the start of the hike:
Now - some of you may have spotted this already, but - not only did I have the opportunity to hike with Dylan and Lorna. There were also 3 members of the Hutchins family in Team Blackwood that day. Jeff (Andrew's father), Ben (Andrew's brother), and Heather (Andrew's wife). Heather was carrying Andrew that day, and I remember being so struck not only by her loss but also by the support Ben and Jeff showed her throughout the hike.
Our mission that day was completed - and memories of that hike that will always stay with me. But I will also always remember what life was like pre-hike and how it changed after. Connections made during the ANP weekend led to another last minute hike the following month carrying the stone of Aaron Henderson. Andrew and Dustin would also be there. This hike had us returning to the team house where Mama Bear did what she does best and made it feel like a home. My family stopped doing Thanksgiving a long time ago, and it had been forever since I had a meal with a large group full of laughter and, not to be mushy, love. I remember not wanting that weekend to end and being afraid that when it did, that was that. Let it be known, however, that once Mama Bear adopts you - she doesn't let you go.
All of a sudden, my life went from all work and time to myself to people reaching out with Facebook messages and texts - just to ask me how I was or share something that made them think of me or invite me for a hike. It was overwhelming, but in a good way. Now when I traveled I couldn't wait to get home to Maine - because the people made it feel like home. I think that was the first step toward my decision that no matter what - I was moving back to Maine.
Fast forward a few amazing months, and I was up to my eyeballs in everything TSP. I had been made TL for Team Red in the upcoming BSP hike and was doing my best to help build a solid foundation for the mission. The decision was made to participate in the Baxter State Park Litter Patrol in 2015 to help strengthen the relationship and show support for the park. And so I showed up with Jimmy Trout and Jonathan Kelley to pick trash on the State Rd. Little did I know that Dustin and Andrew would be introducing me to my future husband that day.
Jimmy, Jonathan, and I stood on the side of the road just having finished 1.5 miles of clean up. A park truck pulled up, and out stepped Rangers Bruce and Mike. I always welcomed an opportunity to talk about TSP and the mission, and so the conversation began between myself and Ranger Mike. He had a friend, Joe, who had been a teammate for Search and Rescue on Wilderness. This friend had a nephew who was one of the fallen. Joe wanted to hike this stone on Katahdin, and Mike wanted to help organize that. I offered to help with transporting stones and even joining on the hike. Would anyone like to guess who that nephew was? Here is a picture from our June 2015 Katahdin hike to give you a hint:
In the end, Joe couldn't make the hike. That meant that I would be carrying Andrew's stone up Katahdin that day. Mike and I had our first date two days before this hike - watching sunset from Katahdin Stream Falls. Without TSP and the heroes we honor with that mission, Ranger Mike and Ziggy never would have met. In the time since then, there have been countless people and events that all rippled from the impact TSP and the fallen had on my life. Let me quickly share a few of these -
- March 2015 - I did a GORUCK Light in Seattle and later received this message from another in the event "Hey! Small world, did you know Andrew Hutchins in your photo? Check out the photo from the memorial at my last unit that I shared today. We were in the same unit on my first deployment."
- May 2015 - TSP brought our good friend, Dave Lorandeau, into our lives - he would later lead a Jeep Ride to benefit Andrew's scholarship fund
Andrew and Dustin were also in Team Red for the BSP Hike - carried by our good friend Scott Stitham.
- June 2015 - Andrew and Jay were there not only for my first hike of Katahdin with Ranger Mike, but also the first time I was able to visit Dustin at the cemetery in Patten
- November 2015 - Andrew was there with us when Ranger Mike popped the question at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
- And Dustin, Jay, and Andrew were all there when we got married on Katahdin
I remember a hiker saying last weekend, "This hike really changes you." And I thought "You have no idea!" The hike will change you in ways that you can't possibly imagine and even years beyond your time on the mountain, you will feel the ripples of the impact that stone has had on your life. For me that meant coming to TSP as a lonely gypsy and becoming Ziggy - standing among beloved family and friends that mean more to me that I could ever express. Jeff once told me that if Andrew were here today, he'd be on that mountain with us carrying as many stones and stories as he could. I think of that every time I carry a stone, and I believe that being there in Andrew's absence to crack a joke, offer a kind word, or lend a hand and say "It's all good" also honors his memory and keeps the ripples of his impact growing further.
Every stone that is a part of The Summit Project represents so much more than a fallen soldier. They represent fathers/mothers, sons/daughters, husbands/wives, friends.... to their unit, they were a soldier who became family. To their loved ones, they were family who became a soldier. So to Team Red and all of the hikers that have or will carry a stone and story - be there for one another. Share in each other's successes and tough times. Remember the fallen and honor the amazing family you are all now a part of.
